The Fam

Zayne, being a Pampers wearer, suffers from VML (Visible Muppet Lines). (For those that don’t know, Pampers diapers are printed with Muppet and Sesame Street characters.)

The diaper I put on him tonight after he got out of the bath had Ernie on it. I was a bit hesitant to expose Zayne to Ernie at this early stage, because I think we all know Ernie’s a bit heterosexually-challenged*. Then I thought this is the perfect time to start teaching tolerance to the boy. I mean, Ernie’s big and orange and gay, but he’s just like you and me, right?

[Thanks to DaddyTypes, for coining VML]
*Apparently, using the word “G-A-Y” in a publicly searchable arena is not the brightest of ideas. See “Searches” for more info.

You would be three years old today. It’s hard to believe that so much time has already passed. Some days it seems like a hundred years ago, and other days it catches me so much by surprise that I have to stop whatever I’m doing. The hardest and best thing I ever did was hold you after you were born. I’m not a very religious person, but I truly think that you’re somewhere watching over us all. Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you very much!

——
Man. It doesn’t feel like it’s been three years. For those that don’t know the story, our daughter Ashlynn Marie was stillborn on December 2, 2002 at 37 weeks gestation. She was technically full term. After several batteries of tests, we still don’t know what the cause was.

There are some theories related to medical problems that Dawn has since been diagnosed with:
Celiac (aka gluten intolerance) - Dawn was diagnosed with this in April of the following year, but she had been having symptoms during the pregnancy.
Factor V Leiden - This is a blood clotting issue. Dawn was diagnosed with this in December of 2003 after being admitted to the hospital with multiple(!) clots in her lungs and leg.

Who know what caused our loss - the end result is still the same.

Our OB was just as crushed as we are. She was the one that allowed us to induce Zayne at 36 weeks just to make sure everything would be OK.

One of the great helps during our initial recovery was the local branch of the Share - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support group. Somehow it really helped to sit and talk and cry with other families who’ve experienced loss.

Many people told us that they didn’t know what to say to us. It’s not exactly the kind of situation that everybody’s been through and can relate to. (No, having an abortion does not mean you have any kind of idea how I feel.) The problem was that some people said nothing at all for quite a while. It would have been fine to just get a hug.

In other news, Zayne is the proud owner of his very first tooth today!

The boy has now slept through the night two nights in a row!

He’s also figured out how to roll over onto his back. He kind of looks like a Weeble - put him on his back, and he sort of pops over to being on his stomach. He hasn’t figured out yet what he can do while he’s on his stomach, so he usually gets mad and starts hollering. It’s kind of funny - “What’s the baby upset about?” “Oh, it must be time to flip him over again.”

We managed to get finally get our hands on an Amby Baby Hammock. One of our neighbors on the street had just finished using theirs and were happy to let it go for a reduced price.

I’m not sure what the little guy thinks of it yet. We put him in it and gave him some time to thrash around. It didn’t seem to bother him, but he didn’t seem too eager to get to sleep, either.

One thing that did seem to work well was to swaddle him before putting him in the hammock. So far, it hasn’t been too bad. He’s slept in it for a while now. His reflux hasn’t been too bad lately, so I don’t know how well it will work. Time will tell!

“Some plans were made and rice was thrown
A house was built, a baby born
How time can move both fast and slow
Amazes me” - Bright Eyes / I Believe In Symmetry

Zayne,

Today you’re 16 weeks old. You’re growing so quickly and learning new things every day.

You had your first solid food the other day. You weren’t sure what to think at first, but now you practically beg for it. It’s so cute to watch you stare as someone spoons the food out of the container - sometimes you’re so excited it’s hard not to laugh. When the spoon gets close enough, you grab the hand of the person feeding you and start pulling it towards your mouth, as if you don’t trust them to do it right.

You’re such a happy baby. Nothing brightens my day more than coming home and having you smile and goo at me. Even if you’re upset about something, you’ve still got a smile. It’s kind of funny sometimes to watch a pout change into a brief smile and back into a pout, so if mommy and I laugh we’re just loving how hard you try to be happy.

Now that you’ve started solid food, you’ve been trying to put anything you can get your hands on into your mouth. We have to be careful where we leave your burp cloths and such, since you usually end up with one corner shoved in your mouth if we look away for a minute. You even tried to eat daddy’s finger!

You don’t know it, but mommy and I worry a lot about you. When you’re sleeping, we sneak in a lot just to make sure you’re OK. Someday when you’re older we’ll tell you about your sister Ashlynn and maybe you’ll understand why we’re more paranoid than your average parents.

I can’t wait to see what the next weeks hold. Just remember, no pizza after eight and no dates until you’re 16.

Love,
Daddy

There have been a number of changes made to the site recently. Here’s a quick breakdown:

1. There are some ads. I tried to make them as unobtrusive as possible.
2. There is an “Amazon Wish List” entry in the sidebar (on the right). This will randomly pull an item from the wish list we have set up for Zayne. The links are set up through Amazon’s associate program, which means that if you click the link to go to Amazon and buy anything, we get a little kickback.
3. Picture changes. The Pictures links in the sidebar no longer exist, and have been replaced by a general “All Pictures” link that goes directly to Flickr. The new picture link is right below the Picture of the Day link, which still operates as it has. This change was made because I believe Flickr is the best place to view the pictures, instead of making this site the go-between.

I’m also working on an easy way to add images to posts that link back to Flickr to help liven things up a bit.

Well, it’s been a couple of weeks now with the new formula, and I must say that I am very impressed with the stuff. Zayne hardly spits up at all now, and overall just seems to be feeling good all of the time. Now when he gets overly fussy, we know it’s usually because he’s really tired. (His “hungry” fussiness is pretty distinct, so we usually don’t get them mixed up.)

It looks like the little guy is suffering from Gastrosophageal Reflux Disease (GERD). We always thought he was just an extra spitty baby, but it looks like the poor kid’s got reflux. I know how much fun that can be as an adult - I don’t even want to imagine how Zayne feels.

There’s an organization called PAGER, which stands for the Pediatric / Adolescent Gastroesophageal Reflux Association. They seem to have some really good information about reflux in kids, along with tips about how to minimize symptoms.

One of the products that PAGER reccommends is the Amby Baby Hammock. This thing looks basically like a baby swing specially designed for sleeping in. It may a bit out of our range at US$230, but if it works it may be well worth it.

As far as food, the pediatrician suggested switching to the Enfamil AR formula. It’s got rice starch in it that thickens in the stomach, supposedly keeping it from coming back up. We’ll see how it goes.

Zayne had his 2 month checkup recently. He weighed in at 10 pounds 13 ounces, and was 23 inches long. Not bad for a kid who made his entrance four weeks early. I was glad I missed the doctor’s appointment, however - he also got three shots. I was told he didn’t handle them very well, which means I probably wouldn’t have dealt very well. I seem to have developed some kind of hair-trigger emotional response when the kid gets upset enough to cry. (Not the “I’m hungry”, “I’m tired”, etc. cries).