The Fam

You would be three years old today. It’s hard to believe that so much time has already passed. Some days it seems like a hundred years ago, and other days it catches me so much by surprise that I have to stop whatever I’m doing. The hardest and best thing I ever did was hold you after you were born. I’m not a very religious person, but I truly think that you’re somewhere watching over us all. Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you very much!

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Man. It doesn’t feel like it’s been three years. For those that don’t know the story, our daughter Ashlynn Marie was stillborn on December 2, 2002 at 37 weeks gestation. She was technically full term. After several batteries of tests, we still don’t know what the cause was.

There are some theories related to medical problems that Dawn has since been diagnosed with:
Celiac (aka gluten intolerance) - Dawn was diagnosed with this in April of the following year, but she had been having symptoms during the pregnancy.
Factor V Leiden - This is a blood clotting issue. Dawn was diagnosed with this in December of 2003 after being admitted to the hospital with multiple(!) clots in her lungs and leg.

Who know what caused our loss - the end result is still the same.

Our OB was just as crushed as we are. She was the one that allowed us to induce Zayne at 36 weeks just to make sure everything would be OK.

One of the great helps during our initial recovery was the local branch of the Share - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support group. Somehow it really helped to sit and talk and cry with other families who’ve experienced loss.

Many people told us that they didn’t know what to say to us. It’s not exactly the kind of situation that everybody’s been through and can relate to. (No, having an abortion does not mean you have any kind of idea how I feel.) The problem was that some people said nothing at all for quite a while. It would have been fine to just get a hug.